So we finally acquired a little hoon-box that is suitably unsuitable enough for the 20,000 kilometre sprint. Featuring a stonking great 0.996 litre engine, this little monster is capable of getting to 100km/h in as little as 16.7 seconds and can reach a jaw-dropping top speed of 140km/h downhill with a tail wind.

Presenting our 1998 Suzuki Wagon-R+ in baby blue.

Now before I continue, it wasn’t easy securing ownership of a car in the UK from New Zealand. Thankfully I have a cousin, Derek, living in Surrey who just happens to be a mechanic. Ideal! So we sent Derek around to test drive the car, after which I imagine there was a lot of head shaking and the word “idiots” used like it was going out of fashion.

We set Derek a task to transform this nana-spec joke of a car into a road-destroying, moment-inspiring, experience-creating, soul-enhancing, little monster. And here’s photos of the progress he’s made.

First of all, a roof cage and LED flood light are fitted. Look at that thing – the power of 1,000 suns!

Next up an essential piece to protect the car’s guts. If we bottom the car out and it rips off our sump plug, we drop all our oil without knowing and roast the engine. An oil sump guard is cut and fitted to the front, and a fuel tank guard fitted to the back. Come at us rocks!

It’s going to get hot in the Gobi Desert. We’re talking +50°C. As mitigation for the added strain on the cooling system, Derek has added a second electric fan. Smart man.

Another important addition for long stretches between villages is a jerry can for fuel, and spare tyres. One spare came with the car and Derek’s on the hunt for two more. The jerry can has been mounted to the side of the car – Mad Max style!

Some more ingenious mods are a gear net for keeping our stuff secure and out of the cabin, a flag pole for flying the silver fern (and victory bras), a safe to be mounted under the passenger seat to protect our vital documents and stacks of pinga, and last but not least a banging stereo to keep the lads entertained on the journey.

Still to come are the custom liveries and sponsors’ stickers!

Until then,
Scotty and The Lost Kiwis